This is my first truly two-handed entry and one of the only devoid of pictures. Sorry for those who hate to read, but I found this quote on a friend's blog:
"When you come to the end of all the light you know, & it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: Either you will be give something solid to stand on, or your will be taught to fly."~Edward Teller
It was everything I needed today. It has been one of those weeks. Okay, two weeks. For the first time in my life, I'm "just a mom". I'm not in school or working or in a very time-consuming calling at church. I don't have places to be or things to do as per a set schedule. My days consist of making meals, cleaning meals, laundry, outings for the children and the like.
Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE doing those things. In fact, the Lord has been showing me over and over how important what I am doing for my children is. That indeed, my children (his children) come first and foremost in all that I do. The hard part is that they come first in all that I don't do as well. I find myself now, denying other "opportunities" to safe guard the time I have with them and this is doing a number on my self-identity. This is contrary to all that I am and ever have been. I've never had just one perverbial 'poker in the fire'. No, I've always had a handful, a couple waiting and at least one flaming in my hand. So as my hand gets cold I'm finding warmth in knowing that the study of cost and benefits and rate of returns truly find application in the home that I am building and in the eternity that will come.
So, I guess I will find out if I'll walk out of this on something solid or fly.
Wow, that was very profound! I enjoyed reading it. Your kids are very lucky to have a mom like you. You sound like a fun and awesome momma!!
ReplyDeleteDude you'll soar! You've always been able to do anything that comes in your path and conquer it ten times over. You are amazing and such an inspiration to me. Ever since the day I met you I was like, "Wow she is so cool! I hope that I can be like her when I grow up(haha ya ya I was sixteen give me a break)." You've always had this spirit about you that draws others to you and I'm so jealous of that! Your kids look at you with the most amazing smiles and eyes it's darling! I can only imagine what it'll be like when I'm starting to do the things you are. Thanks for all the advice and love. You'll always be a sister to me. Love you!
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing and have always held it together very well. Nik you have always been an inspiration to me and I want to thank you for that. Hey haven't heard from you on the phone. CALL ME!!
ReplyDeleteNikki! It's been so fun hearing from you! I've always admired you & your tenacity. It would be way fun to get together & do lunch sometime. I'll have to let you know when my schedule calms down a bit. I'm so happy the quote helped you. That explains why I felt like I needed to post it. :)
ReplyDeleteNikki, you are such an asset to the world. You have so much to offer because you are a stay at home mother. There are people out there that can only be helped by you. They are searching and hoping to have you in their life. You are such a great friend and example to everyone. Everyone loves you and wants to emulate your love. Keep soaring! You always soar high enough for everyone to watch and learn from you. We are all trying to be as good as you are. Thanks for all you do and all you stand for.
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